GRANADA HILLS, CA — In what is being hailed as one of the strangest scientific discoveries in modern times, a creature that is half rat and half human was discovered hiding in a decaying mansion.
“This is just as astounding as when Bat Boy was found in a West Virginia cave,” declared Norton Timmins of The Scientific Journal of Extreme Oddities.
Kent Larson, a preeminent paleoanthropologist, first discovered the strange creature. “I was exploring deep inside O’Melveny Park at the far end of the San Fernando Valley,” he told Weekly World News, “when I spotted a rotting Victorian house surrounded by gnarled trees. Armed with only my flashlight, I entered the dwelling, which smelled of death and decay. The floorboards creaked as I made my way toward a staircase. And then I heard an unearthly squeaking noise.
“As I descended the stairs toward the basement, a large, furry thing leaped at me. I struck at it with my flashlight and the creature tumbled down the stairs. My heart pounding, I aimed my light on the concrete floor.
“The creature was scared and whimpering, staring up at me with its small bright eyes. It resembled a little girl, about four feet tall, but she was covered with soft brown fur and had pink ears, a pointed snout and big front teeth. Approximately 15 long whiskers grew out of each side of the thing’s face. And a long, hairless tail was curled beneath her. I was stunned, having just discovered what appeared to be a new species.”
The creature was terrified and quite emaciated. Larson offered Rat Girl a protein bar, which she devoured. Larson gained her trust and brought her back to his lab at the University of Scientific Discovery.
While Larson was out, an unscrupulous colleague attempted to examine the creature. Frightened, she tore at the man’s face with her claws and fled the university.
Larson is devastated by Rat Girl’s disappearance. “I must find her before she is killed or injured,” he declared. “Rats and humans have long coexisted. Rat Girl is proof that they somehow merged. Where she came from is a mystery that must be unlocked.”