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SPIDERMAN IS CURSED!


NEW YORK – The Spiderman musical is cursed!

The long awaited spectacle musical Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark has yet again been hit with another setback.

Members of Monday night’s audience where shocked as a stuntman, Christopher Tierney, playing Spider-Man fell 30 feet into the orchestra pit after his safety harness gave way with just minutes left to go in the show. Tierney was taken to the local hospital and treated for minor injuries.

This incident is yet another in an ever growing list of accidents that have plagued the production. Actress Natalie Mendoza, who plays the new villain Arachne, suffered a concussion when a case of Spidey’s web spray fell on her head backstage. Another actor broke a toe after kicking part of the set in a violent rage of anger over criticism form the director. While yet another stuntman broke both his wrists rehearsing complicated stunts for the show.

In addition to the performers, a ticket booth attendant recently slipped on a wet floor breaking her coccyx as well as an usher who got food poisoning from eating some bad tuna.

“We’ve told Billy time and time again not to eat the sushi from the street vendors on 42nd Street but he is really suborned.” Said John Riesler head usher at the Foxwoods Theatre.

There have been rumors that the Foxwoods Theater was built on an ancient Indian burial ground and that poltergeists could be the cause of these tragic events.  However, the documentation for the sale of Manhattan consists solely of a receipt with an “X” on it and a listing of 60 guilders worth of goods (approximately 25 USD) consisting of a blanket laden with small pox, a used cast iron skillet and various tools several with broken handles, so it has been hard for producers to determine if any dead indians are buried there.

Producers have decided to not take any chances and have called in Jason Hawes, creator of The Atlantic Paranormal Society and star of the SYFY channel’s hit show Ghost Hunters, to explore the possibility of paranormal activity in the theatre.

Madame Tussauds Wax Museum also located on 42nd street has reported recent paranormal activities as well. There have been reports that Robert Pattinson’s wax figure (Pattinson known for his role as Edward Cullen in the movie adaptation of the Twilight Series) has been seen lurking around in the evenings. In addition to the lurking, cans of V-8 have gone missing from the staff refrigerator as well.

“I think that it’s that blood sucker drinking my V-8. I bet he thinks its blood,” explained Louis Hernandez, evening guard at the museum.

It has yet to be determined if Pattinson’s wax figure is the thief.