TUBE-NOSED BAT

DALLAS, TX –  Tube-Nosed Bats are swarming into Texas and biting the ears off residents.

The Tube-Nosed fruit bat is one of roughly 200 new species encountered during two scientific expeditions to Papua New Guinea in 2009 –  a trip that also found a katydid that “aims for the yes” and a frog that makes nasty cricket noises.

However, one of the researchers on the expedition – Caleb Sharpe from  Austin – hid a few Tube-Nosed bats in his luggage and… now they have reproduced at an alarming rate and have become a danger to citizens in and around Dallas.

“I just wanted to take the bats home to show my wife, Katie, because she loves bats.  I didn’t think that they’d reproduce like rabbits,” said Sharpe.

The Tube-Nosed bats have been terrorizing residents of Dallas and Fort Worth.  They swoop down at night and peck on a victim’s ear.  Many times the bats keep pecking until the ear is completely gone.  About two dozen Dallas residents have lost at least one ear.

This is the Tube-Nosed Bat when it is getting ready to attack:

Many guys think that the Tube-Nosed bat is harmless.  Even though it is small, it is deadly.  One of the reason that citizens of Dallas have been allowing the bats to get close to them is because the Tube-Nosed Bat bears an resemblance to Yoda from Star Wars.  See:

Dallas authorities are advising all residents to be on the lookout of the Tube-Nosed Bats.   the Dallas Police Department estimates that there are 2,000 bats flying around the city and they are multiplying so fast that by the end of the year, there may be upwards of 200,000.

“Cover your ears,”  said Dallas Police Chief, Landry Booker.  “Until we come up with a way to exterminate these bats, we are advising all residents to cover their ears when walking outside.”

Beware the Tube-Nosed Bat!