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JOHN TRAVOLTA TO TAKE ONE-WAY TRIP TO MARS


SANTA MONICA – John Travolta has signed up for the first one-way trip to Mars.

Two scientists are planning the colonization of the red planet – and John Travolta has volunteered to boldy go, to be the first person to fly to Mars -  not expecting to return home.

“The main point is to get Mars exploration moving,” said Trevor Banich, a Oregon  State University professor who is planning the Mars-Travolta mission with NASA.

At least one moon-walking astronaut was not impressed.

“This is premature,” Ed Mitchell of Apollo 14 wrote in an e-mail. “We aren’t ready for this yet.”

But NASA loves the idea.

President Barack Obama – not so much.  He already outlined a plan to go to Mars , but he never suggested these space travelers wouldn’t come home.

John Travolta is psyched, however.  “I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do on this planet.  I am ready for a new challenge.”  Travolta also said he plans on promoting Scientology to any beings he encounters.

Here’s two members of the NASA Mars crew he is taking with him:

“He’ll be dead before he gets there,” said one skeptic NASA scientist.

Banich said humans must begin colonizing Mars against a catastrophe on Earth.  “Travolta has what it takes for this mission.  Did you see him in Battlestar Gallactica.”

The reason Banich thinks it’s necessary to send someone in their 60s is because the mission would undoubtedly reduce a person’s lifespan, from a lack of medical care and exposure to radiation. Radiation could also damage reproductive organs, so sending people of childbearing age is not a good idea, Schulze-Makuch said.

Mars is a six-month flight away, and it has surface gravity, a thin atmosphere, frozen water, carbon dioxide and essential minerals. The two scientists propose the missions begin with two two-person teams, in separate ships that would serve as living quarters on the planet. More colonists and regular supply ships would follow.

“Travolta will go to Mars with the intention of staying for the rest of his life, as a trailblazer of a permanent human Mars colony,”  Banich said.

Here he is, the first official Martian: