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DUKE OFFERS “HORIZONTAL STUDIES”


DURHAM. NC – After the success of Karen Owen’s PowerPoint , Duke University has created a Horizontal Studies department.

A Duke student’s risque PowerPoint, which described in near-scientific detail the men she slept with,  has gone viral and become a national sensation.

But contrary to what most people expected, Duke University is not embarrassed by Owen.  Instead, they feel that she has come up with a brilliant idea for a new program:  Horizontal Studies.

“We are always trying to come up with new programs and courses that will stimulate our student’s minds, challenge them in ways that are unexpected,”  said Charlie H. Broadmore, President of Duke.  “Students need to be prepared for life and if they become proficient, even masterful, in horizontal studies, they’ll be able to have a fuller life – and more orgasms.”

Broadmore went on to say in addition to offering a BHS (Bachelor in Horizontal Studies), it would also be offering a MHS and the first ever Ph.D. in Horizontal Studies.  “I think in the real world, many people would feel a lot better knowing that their potential partner, was the proper credentials to provide you with a lifetime of great sex.”

 

MHS grad students

 

Owen, a 2010 Duke grad, composed an in-depth PowerPoint thesis that she sent to a few friends and, from there, it went into a forward frenzy, ending up on fraternity listservs and making its way to the media.

Some Duke students are not pleased that the University is getting involved in “sex studies.”   In a letter to the Duke Chronicle, Alley Zirkowski wrote … “the overall glorification of Karen Owen’s PowerPoint and the fact that the University is now creating a “sex department”  is disgraceful.”

Broadmore responded, “Well, that’s the type of girl we do not want in the Horizontal Studies department.  She’s a drag.”

Here’s a shot of a Duke student and her professor on a field trip entitled – “Foreplay While Fishing”.

First the Duke Lacrosse scandal and now this…  That’s one horny college!!

In unrelated news, Duke University reported that applications are up ten-fold since the announcement of the Horizontal Studies department.