CATALONIA – Spaniards try to build a human tower to heaven.
They tried running bulls into a ring and then slaughtering them… They tried throwing tomatoes at each other… But nothing has worked. Their economy is still in the toilet. So what are Spaniards to do?
Build a human tower to heaven!
Spaniards believe in bulls, they believe in tomatoes AND they believe that if they keep standing on top of each other they will eventually reach past the galaxies and right into heaven. “If we build it, then God will come. It is the way of the Catalan,” said Ernesto Gravita, a heavy-weight standing at the bottom of the human tower.
Don’t be so quick to laugh. Spanish scholars got together in Madrid last month to drink Sangria until they coudn’t walk… the next day, they met to discuss how to improve the lives of the Spanish people. The answer: “we can’t, we’ve screwed up the economy so bad, there is no hope,” said Fernando Ronalto, chief economist for the Center for International Economics. “But we wanted to give our people hope and we can up with a plan to keep the 30% of our people that are unemployed busy.”
“The idea is that if we keep standing on each others shoulder, we can break past the earth’s atmosphere in two months, reach the moon in 14 months and then… reach heaven by 2014. It’s carefully worked out by engineers at the University of Coca. “You gotta know to how to climb, you gotta know how to stack and you gotta know how keep it all steady.”
Some Spaniards are worried that the men at the bottom of the tower might not be able to hold up for four years. “We considered that and we have over 400 large men that will be rotating in-and-out of the tower base.”
Not all Spaniards are happy about the country spending their limited resources on a Tower to Heaven. “Our government was loco before and now they have completely lost their garbanzo beans. This will never work. We will become the laughing stock of Europe.
German reporters were quick to point out that they already are the laughtingstock of Europe.
What will the Spaniards do when they get to heaven?
“Plant a flag. We want to claim heaven for all the Spanish people of the world. America might have been first on the moon, but Spain will be the first into Heaven,” said Renalto.
While many Spaniards are builing a tower up to heaven, there are some rogue Spaniards that are digging in the ground. “We can’t be sure heaven is above us, so we want to make sure we get there one way or another.”
God has no comment on the Tower to Heaven. But there was some loud giggling heard over Barcelona last night…