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PINK HIPPO: DEAD IN DALLAS


DALLAS  – A rare pink hippo, spotted on a farm outside Dallas, was soon shot dead by a local rancher.

They say you have to be drunk to see pink elephants. But you really have to be sober to see a rare pink hippo, as two farmers recently did, near Bowie, Texas.

Brothers Jud and Lucas Berne wrote on their blog about their shock at seeing the animal, roaming with the other cattle on their farm.

“We have just returned from a trip to grocer store when we spotted that dang hippo.  We nearly spit, when we saw that.  We called the local authorities and they came over to take it to the zoo,” Jud told WWN.

Authorities confirmed that the young, rosy-colored animal was, in fact, a hippopotamus.  “National Geographic called and said they wanted to come and take some pictures, and after I asked Rancher Kellogg if it was okay, because that dang hippo was on his land, we said yes and they came over.”  Lucas said.  “I love National Geographic. They show some nice naked ladies.”

No one could explain how a hippopotamus – usually found in Africa – could have made it’s way onto a farm in Dallas, but there were a lot of theories flying around Bowie.  “I think that pinko thing got swept up in a hurricane that got going in Africa and it just flew over here and landed on the Jones farm,” said Thelma Whyte.  “Pigs don’t fly, but it looks like hippos do.”

Pink HIppo in the mud

The whole town of Bowie came out to see the animal.  But somebody forgot to tell Old Man Jones about the hippo.  “He saw the pink animal running around between the calves and thought it was a sick pig or something,”  Jud said.   “He blasted that hippo to smithereens.”

Local Animal Control, Bowie Police and National Geographic photographers tried to save the pink hippo, but there was nothing left but a bunch of intestines lying on the ground. “Old Man Jones is a dead-eye.  He sure is,” said Lucas.

“Too bad he shot him with buckshot… would made a tasty meal,” said Jud.  “Oh well, maybe another flying hippo will land in Bowie.  I hope so.”

Well, if hippos do fly, they might want to bypass Dallas… head for Sedona, Arizona or Los Angeles.  They might survive a little longer.