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CAPTAIN HOOK JOINS DEADLIEST CATCH


ALASKA – Three captains quit the hit reality show “Deadliest Catch,” but they signed a new one:  Captain Hook.

Captain Hook, who was played by Dustin Hoffman in the movie, “Hook,” is a real Captain that fishes in the Atlantic Ocean.  He has been signed on to replaced Capts. Jonathan and Andy Hillstrand and Capt. Sig Hansen, who quit the other day.

The Hillstrand brothers quit after being sued by Discovery for not working on a planned spin-off show entitled, Hillstranded.  That’s when the Hillstrands quit, and Hansen joined them.

“We have been through a lot over the past year and unfortunately given the current situation with Discovery we are unable to continue participating in ‘Deadliest Catch,'” the fishermen said in a joint written statement.

The Hillstrand Brothers

Discovery Channel executives have moved on.  “We had a great run with the Hillstrands and Sig, but now we are moving on.  Captain Hook is going to be great for the show,” said Producer Joe Lanacon.

“Captain Hook is a villainous thief and a pirate, but he also knows how to catch crab,” said Lanacon.  “I think his crab count is going to blow everyone else out of the water.”

Asked if he was worried that Captain Hook might attack other crab boats, Lanacon said, “No, that’s what makes good TV.  The conflict.  We always want conflict.  And Captain Hook and his crew of thugs and murders is really going to spice up the series.”

Captain Hook was unavailable for comment, but his spokesman did say that he intends on “catching a lot of crab and stealing a lot of crap.”

The other Captains in the fleet are gearing up for Captain Hook, they have all put canons on their crab boats.
“It’s gonna be a great season,” said Lanacon.  “It’s really going to be the Deadliest Catch.”