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DOGS EAT GAGA MEAT


HOLLYWOOD – Lady Gaga wore her meat dress out tonight and was attacked by a pack of wild dogs.

Two days after Lady shocked everybody with her meat dress at the MTV Video Music Awards, she wore it out again to the hot new restaurant, Red O, on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles.   As she was getting out of her limo, a pack of wild dogs jumped her and ate her meat.

Gaga tried to get away, but the dogs kept biting her meat, tearing it off her. Several of Gaga’s body guards tried to pull the dogs away, but they were bitten on their hands and legs.  The dogs -= two rottweilers, a pit bull and two mutts – were just too wild to control.  Gaga fought the dogs with kicks, screams and a verse from her hit Speechless.   LAPD and Animal Rescue were called and arrived quickly.

The LAPD tased the dogs and they finally gave up on the meat. Gaga, surprisingly, only sustained minor injuries. The dogs ate all her meat, however, and she was left nude on the sidewalk.  Animal Rescue tried to put Lady Gaga in the truck, but her bodyguards stopped them.

Meatloaf, the aging rock star, was seen nearby. Some thought he had something to do with the wild dogs because he was heard telling his plastic surgeon, “I should be the one wearing meat. I’m meatloaf, not her!”

Representatives from PETA also denied rumors that they were responsible for the dog attack on Gaga’s meat. “We don’t like celebrities to wear furs and we certainly don’t like them to wear meat!” Lady Gaga had already explained her raw meat dress, “it’s not a matter of disrespectful to vegetarian persons.” She went on to say that if “we don’t fight we’ll all be meat soon.” She didn’t explain what or who we were fighting.

But as a consolation to PETA, Lady Gaga will be wearing only raw vegetables when she performs in Las Vegas this week. “I think I’ll look good in broccoli,” Gaga said.

Gaga told Ellen on her show that she wore the meat because she wasn’t performing on the VMAs and she didn’t want to let her beloved fans (her “little monsters”) down by being “just another bitch in a dress at an awards show.”   So she went to a butcher in Brentwood and got outfitted.  She said she was even wore  ground beef panties.

And the dogs?  Don’t worry, they are fine.  They will be up for adoption this week.  Several members of LA Animal Rescue said they’d never seen dogs so happy.  “They really loved Gaga’s meat.”

Oh well,  maybe there are some broccoli lovers out there…

Here’s Gaga’ Vogue meat bikini cover: