MIAMI – Sexy Russian spies boldly paraded through Miami in their red bikinis. The FBI is hot on their tail.
In protest of the recent arrest and deportation of two sexy Russian spies – Anna Chapman and Anna Fermanova – sexy Russian spies hit Miami Beach today to protest FBI harassment.
“Every since Fermie was arrested the FBI has been targeting sexy women from Russia,” said Anna Peskiyev. “They held me for 24-hours. Then they took me in,” said Anna Sidorov. In a clever maneuver to hide their spies, the Russians named all their spies Anna. Sidorov said, “It was Putin’s idea. He thought if we had the same first name we would confuse Americans. Actually, he thought we’d confuse Americans with these bikinis, too.”
The red-bikini clad spies marched down Ocean Avenue, headed to the beach and set up a booth where Americans could French kiss them – after the Americans told them government secrets, of course. The kissing booth was open to men and women. At last check, the line was three miles long.
The Russian spies held large posters of Anna Chapman and Anna Fermanova, “They were unfairly treated. They hadn’t finished gathering their top-secret government secrets yet. We want them back,” said Anna Titovski. Several Miami men joined in the protest demanding that Anna Chapman and Anna Fermanova be brought back – “alive and naked.”
Miami Police and FBI agents surrounded the bikini-clad protesters looking for any evidence that could implicate them in more spying. Here is a shot that FBI Agent, Dennis Loudon, took after he had the spies line up on the beach. Do you see anything suspicious?
Loudon didn’t see anything either but said, “I’ll be studying the photo all night at the lab.”
Anna Chapman was arrested and deported on July 13th. She is now in Moscow. Anna Fermanova was arrested on July 28th. She’s also back in Russia and is forming a rock band with Anna Chapman and Vladmir Putin.
There was one woman that the FBI conclusively identified as a spy at the Miami protest. They wanted to arrest her, but they were too busy fainting. Her name is Anna Ketyslina. Have you seen evil before? Here it is:
If you see her, do not approach. She is dangerous. Call the FBI, they’ll know how to handle her.