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Russians Train Mummy Air Force

MOSCOW, RUSSIA – Surveillance photos recently released by the Department of Defense reveal that the Russian air command has been training the undead and the recently deceased as paratroopers.

Charles Milling of the CIA’s Clandestine Service, shown above, infiltrated the Russian Military to gather this bizarre intelligence.

“It’s crazy.  They string wire through the bones to keep them intact and then I don’t know what.  The damn things just come alive and they won’t die,” said an overly-worked-up Milling.

“I’m gonna kill ‘em dead, though.”  Milling redeploys to the Russian capital city next month.