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LOLLIPOP OMEN: STOCK MARKET WILL SOAR!


NEW YORK, NY -  The Lollipop Omen, a little known technical indicator, predicts a big upswing in the stock market!

Wall Street is giddy about the “Lollipop Omen.” It’s a cheerful technical indicator that is supposed to signal an upcoming stock market boom. “Its creator, a deaf, blind, bipolar mathematician named Mr. Billy Jumbles told WWN, “my indicator is now predicting a market surge in September.  Come everybody, get happy!”  He then got on his tricycle and pedaled around the floor of the NYSE, blowing kisses to trading machines.

Mr.  Jumbles named his indicator the Lollipop Omen because h e loved to eat big lollipops he loved as a kid.  “Everybody loves lollipops. They make you happy and you can smile every second of the day.  Lollipop, lollipop, I love my lollipop,”  Mr. Jumbles added.

The S&P 500 completed on Friday the biggest three-day decline since July 1. The wobbly stock market has investors worried and searching for clues on the market’s direction.  But now with the news of the Lollipop Omen, the investors are all dancing down Wall Street.  Happy days are here again!

The Lollipop Omen is the alignment of several technical factors that measure the underlying condition of the stock market— specifically the NYSE.

The main goal of the indicator is to determine if a higher overall probability exists that there will be a huge stock market upswing.   The other goal is to just make people feel… happy!

The general rationale behind the indicator is that “under normal conditions” either

1. A substantial number of stocks are being bought by individual investors.
2. A substantial number of stocks are being manipulated by traders.
3. Conditions 1 & 2 cannot both take place at the same time, it is either one or the other—but not both. Or it could be both, depends on who you are talking to.

The Lollipop Omen may just be another wacky Wall Street indicator that means nothing, much like the January Effect or predicting where the market will go based on the number of high heels sold in Chicago.  Or, it may be the greatest indicator that every existed on Wall Street.  Time will tell.  Jim Cramer had this comment, “Bulls love lollipops.  Bears love lollipops, and even pigs love lollipops.”

Some traders are telling their clients about the indicator and others are just buying stocks for themselves – as per usual.  Fritz Barnkopf of Barnkopf Securities says “I’m getting all my clients out of cash and into the market, big time. The Lollipop Indicator has never been wrong.”  When WWN told Barnkopf that the Lolliipop Indicator was just invented by Mr. Jumbles yesterday he said, “Who cares?  We usually have chimps picking stocks.  Now, we have chimps with lollipops!!”

Rumors that Mr. Jumbles is actually Vice President Joe Biden are false.   Though they may be true.

It’s a lollipop day!  Yay!!