LINCOLN, NE – The Gideons have expanded their hotel distribution system. In addition to bibles, they will now be placing a stripper in every hotel room.
The Gideons have been distributing bibles for over a hundred years and they finally decided to branch out and distribute other items. The Gideons feel that Christians who are never tempted, never really have their faith challenged. They decided that if they put a stripper in every hotel room in the country, guests will be properly tempted and real Christians will emerge.
The Gideons have started by placing female strippers in motels and hotels, but male strippers will soon be placed as well. Like The Gideon bibles, the strippers can be glanced over or they can be explored on a deeper level. If a hotel guest wants to take a Gideon Stripper home with him (or her), so be it. The Gideons will quickly replace the stripper with another.
In an arrangement with Marriott and Hilton hotels, the strippers will be placed in the hotel closet between the hotel-issued ironing board and the hotel-issued lockbox. The strippers will not engage with the guests, unless the guest takes the stripper out of the closet. Since Gideon Strippers have been placed, Marriott Hotels have reported a ten-fold increase in bookings. This makes The Gideons… giddy.
Some have speculated that Michael David Barrett, the man who took video of Erin Andrews, is a Gideon. WWN tried to confirm this with The Gideons, but we haven’t been able to find one.
The Gideons are an evangelical Christians that come from the Land of Gidea, which is located somewhere between Israel and Guam. They are dedicated to distributing copies of the Bible in over 80 languages and 190 countries of the world, mostly in hotel and motel rooms. The organization was founded in 1897 in Bosco, Michigan by Franklin Bammerling and he distributed the first bible in 1908 in a motel in Butte, Montana. The guests of that motel, Marge and Henry Mallmerstein, where shocked to see Franklin climbing in through their hotel window, so Henry grabbed his shotgun and blew Franklin away. But that didn’t stop the Gideons from continuing to distribute their bibles, though they have developed a “stealth” technique.
Gideons have never been seen entering or exiting a hotel room. Several guests have tried to catch a Gideon in the acting of placing a bible, but nobody ever has. There are Gideon-Hunters out there, but not one Gideon has been caught.
Some say there is a Gideon in this picture. Can you see The Gideon?:
How will the Gideons round-up so many strippers? How will they get the strippers into the hotel and motel rooms? It’s all part of the mystery of The Gideon. If you do see a Gideon, please alert WWN and send pictures. Thank you.