Buffalo, NY – Fay Sanders, 73, takes the offensive in a minor standoff between American senior citizens and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. AARP member and First Baptist Church of Lancaster, Pennsylvania bake sale runner-up Sanders fired off two rounds, nearly hitting a military humvee before authorities captured her and two accomplices. The border patrol confiscated $125,000 (US) in a variety of prescription medications.
“This kind of thing is so common now that we don’t even report ‘em anymore if there aren’t any casualties,” said a weary Inspector Cheneau. The FDA estimates that a group of seniors crosses the borders with foreign prescriptions once every seven minutes.