FRANK SINATRA BEATING UP OTHER GHOSTS!

Frank Sinatra, the legendary singer who passed away in 1998, is continuing his tough-guy ways in the great beyond.

Soon after he arrived, according to eyewitness reports, he surrounded himself with former friends and associates, including the ghosts of Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Bishop, and Peter Lawford. Sinatra started calling the new group The Bat Pack, a play on the name of his former Rat Pack. “It was because bats are spooky,” Lawford’s ghost said. 

“And kooky,” added Davis Jr. 

At first, Sinatra’s Bat Pack was popular in the afterlife. They performed on stage, held courts in nightclubs, and made themselves available for taking photos with other ghosts. “I don’t really understand why,” said Bishop’s ghost. “None of us show up on film. But whatever. Frank loves everyone.”

But over the months, Sinatra and his Bat Pack started demonstrating violent tendencies. 

“He always talked big,” said one ghost who asked not to be named. “He could be intimidating. But then one day a ghost talked back to him — I think the other guy was a little sloshed — and Frank just hauled off and hit him. He didn’t hold back at all. He almost knocked him back into his normal life.” 

BAT PACK EXPANSION

Other ghosts soon started reporting new additions to the Bat Pack, including ghosts of various enforcers and shady figures. Sinatra’s ghost, emboldened by their arrival, lashed out more often and more intensely.

“I saw him smash a ghost-chair over a ghost’s head,” said another ghost who requested anonymity. “He drove his ghost ’42 Chrysler Convertible over another ghost’s foot and then opened the door into the ghost’s side. And it was all fists, all the time. He was out of control. He almost hit Gandhi.” 

To date, the ghost said, law enforcement has been unwilling or unable to control Sinatra’s temper.  “Who knows how many of them are on the take?” said the first ghost who asked not to be named. “You hear stories of cops playing cards with Sinatra, or other cops hanging with Frank and Angie Dickinson. He has so much to offer. Why would they bother stopping him?”

Sinatra could not be reached for comment, but other members of the Bat Pack downplayed the accusations. “He’s Frank,” said Lawford’s ghost. “He can get heated. Sometimes he’ll look across a room at you and you’ll see that look. But I don’t believe that he’s actually laying his hands on people. Which ghost told you that? I’m curious. I’m sure Frank would like to send someone to talk to him, maybe clear up any misunderstanding.”