RED PILL CREATURE WOMAN CAPTURED!

BLUEFIELD, WEST VIRGINIA: A father and son, Joseph and Bailey Davidson, were deer hunting yesterday when they were startled by a gnarly creature devouring their fresh kill. Joseph nearly shot the thing when his son, Bailey  shouted out,” That thing looks human Pa!”

The creature woman turned around and attacked them. It chased them to their truck, jumped on the roof and hood, smashed in the windshield and they sped off with the creature hanging on.

They swerved toward a tree and knocked it off. They watched it in the rearview window jumping up and down screaming. Bailey said, “It looked like Karen Black in Trilogy of Terror. It looked just like that Zuni Voodoo doll,”

Joseph and Bailey took Bluefield Police department back to the site where a trail of blood and entrails led to a bog covered in animal and what appeared to be human bones.

The leaf, dirt, and feces-covered creature appeared to be a female. She raged violently throwing bones at the officers who called for back-up. Sheriff, Louis Jordan called it a cross between a wild boar and a rattlesnake.

It took ten police officers to capture the thing and take her to the Behavioral Health Pavilion. Several officers including two female officers Patricia Hayes and Rita Stapleton Bauer were bitten and treated for rabies at Bluefield Regional Medical center.

On condition of anonymity, a hospital employee reported that the female patient appeared to have subsisted on urine and feces. A strange symbol was also branded into its flesh.

Between spits and growls the only worlds, the creature uttered where “Red Pill, Red Pill, Red Pill.

Authorities are unclear about the phrase’s meaning.

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