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ALL-AMERICAN BASKETBALL ALLIANCE


AUGUSTA, GA – A new basketball league is being launched this summer – for white players only!

This new league, called the All-American Basketball Alliance, plans to launch in twelve different cities. The group will only allow in players who are white and were born in the States!

The official statement reads, “Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league.”

Said Don “Moose” Lewis, the commissioner of the proposed AABA, explained that they were not actually racist. “There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”

He went on to clarify that “street-ball” is played by “people of color”, and that whites have no interest in watching it.

“Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” he said. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

Augusta’s mayor, Deke Copenhaver, has consistently supported local minor league teams, however he is not behind this new initiative. “…in this instance I could not support in good conscience bringing in a team that did not fit with the spirit of inclusiveness that I, along with many others, have worked so hard to foster in our city.”

It is not yet known where the games will be hosted.