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TACO BELL FOUNDER DIES


RANCHO SANTA FE, CA – Taco Bell founder Glen W. Bell, Jr., has died.  The fast food world mourns the passing of a giant.

Glen Bell founded Taco Bell in 1962.  “He was an innovator and a visionary,” said Greg Parks, president of Taco Bell.   “He dreamed of affordable food for everyone, and and jobs for those who need them most.  That was his vision.”  Mr. Parks then took out a small knife from his coat pocket and pricked his finger, shouting, “and by my blood his vision will never die!”  Bell passed away Sunday at his home surrounded by family and friends.  He was 86 years old.

In keeping with the “Freshness Guarantee” provision of his will, Glenn Bell was buried within 24 hours of his demise.  Loved ones and members of the fast food community packed the small funeral home to capacity.  A lover of his work to the very end, Bell requested to be buried in a burrito shaped coffin.  The eulogy was provided by former rival and longtime friend Ronald McDonald.

“We come here today to mourn the passing of a truly great man.  A captain of the fast food industry and a giant among men!  While some measure their lives in accomplishments or accomplishments, this man measured his life in people.  In the mouths he was able to feed.  In the first jobs he was able to provide!”  Ronald McDonald’s make-up began to streak as tears ran down his face.  “As a competitor I respected him.  As a friend I loved him.  And now, I mourn him.  Goodnight, brother.”

Mourners lined up to see the coffin, leaving packets of seasoning and preservatives as a sign of respect.  Guests who had been unable to fit inside the funeral home were able to pay their respects in drive-thru fashion.  McDonald, Grimace, Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar acted as pallbearers.  Bell was buried in his small family plot on their ranch.

Taco Bell corporation will officially be in mourning for the rest of the week.  Participating restaurants will have Funeral Value Meals for a limited time.  Burritos will be served with mini black armbands out of respect.