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TEMPERATURE OF HELL


temperature_of_hell

A leading theologian has proved beyond the shadow of a doubt – the temperature of hell is 285 degrees Fahrenheit!

And even though Dr. Stanford Brice warns against it, you can easily give yourself a dose of Hades by preheating your oven to 285 and briefly sticking your hand in it.

“If you’ve ever reached into a hot oven to retrieve a turkey or a roast you have given yourself a taste of hell without even knowing it,” the expert told reporters at a news conference in Sacramento, California.

“The precise temperature of hell might not sound all that intense. But when you expose yourself to 285 degree heat, even for a few seconds, you begin to realize how painful it can really be.

“I certainly don’t want to overstate the importance of my research,” he added. “But I think people deserve to know what they’re getting into if they don’t live the good life that will ensure their entry into heaven.”

The expert reached his conclusions at the end of an exhaustive five-year study of ancient religious texts, including portions of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

According to his report, the earliest references to hell merely spoke of intense, agonizing heat.

But later writings specifically likened the temperature of hell to that of a rock that had been heated in a roaring fire.

In a series of tests Dr. Brice heated a wide variety of rocks in fires of varying intensity and measured how hot they got. When all was said and done the average temperature of the rocks was 285 Fahrenheit – leading the expert to conclude that he had found the precise temperature of hell.

Skeptics have argued that the writings the expert referred to in his studies have no basis in fact. Rice himself is convinced that they were divinely inspired – and insists that they are accurate.

“I truly believe that God spoke directly to these ancient authors an told them exactly what to write,” he said. “When you get right down to it, what you believe or disbelieve is a matter of faith.”

No less a figure than Dr. Paul Cabart, the famed French theologian, has spoken out in support of Rice.

He told reporters: “If you study the Bible and other religious texts you know that God has provided us with the answers to every important question we might ask.

“By thoroughly studying the ancient texts and applying the scientific method to what he found, I firmly believe that Dr. Brice has found the temperature of hell.”

A leading theologian has proved beyond the shadow of a doubt – the temperature of hell is 285 degrees Fahrenheit!