BROOKLYN, NY – Google Earth has found the entrance to Heaven, and it’s in Brooklyn.
Google Earth cameras accidentally caught a glimpse of what religion scholars believe to be the entrance to Heaven. The gateway to Paradise is on 9th Street in Red Hook, just off the Gowanus Expressway and near the Ikea.
Residents of the area are reluctantly growing accustomed to having the entrance to Heaven in their neighborhood. While the proximity to Heaven illicits a feeling of sublime joy, bodega owner Carlos Jimenez says “You get used to it.” He continues “At first it was great, but that light shines right into my bedroom and it never goes away. I gotta work in the morning man!”
No word yet if this is just another step in Brooklyn’s progressing gentrification. Some locals are afraid that this will raise rents in the area and force them out of the neighborhood. Vatican developers are in talks with the owners of Jimmy’s Garage on the corner of 9th and Clinton.
One anonymous woman said “I’m a Catholic. I can’t take God to court, can I?”