This week, we bring you the most overworked mother in this holy feature on lesser known saints.
For this installment, we present:
Saint Olivia the Overextended
Patron Saint of Working Moms
Saint Olivia worked at an orphanage in the midlands of England in the late 19th century. Due to a sudden outbreak of tuberculosis every other sister that worked with her went out for a picnic one day and died halfway through a game of horseshoes. Olivia was left tending to all 56 children by herself with no foreseeable means of income.
Saint Olivia immediately put the children to work. Older children would help watch the younger children. Those in the middle helped turn the orphanage playground into a garden. Once this was set up the children worked the fields and sold their wares to local blue collar laborers.
One day a child came running to her from the fields, his left hand having been clean chopped off from the thresher he was working. The child started to cry for his lost hand. The distracted Olivia simply held it back in place, spit on it, and the hand was good as new. She then told the child to get back to work which he did gladly.
In the middle of running this business to keep them all eating, Olivia still needed to care for the tasks of running an orphanage. Through many a sleepless night her coffeepot was her only companion. When money for coffee ran out, her pot miraculously always had lukewarm coffee in it, just enough to keep her awake.
Saint Olivia is now known as the Patron Saint of working mothers, child labor, and mediocre coffee.
You can pay homage to Saint Olivia, or any of the forgotten saints, by taking up a mop and acquiring the Saint Misbehavin’ guide, lovingly created by NobleWorks.