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GOOGLE EARNINGS UP


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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Exceeding all expectations, Google turned a large profit this quarter.  Google is now hoping to have several American landmarks renamed.

Chief Executive Officer for Goodle Eric Schmidt told reporters “We are very happy that the market has been good to us in this slow period.  And we want to capitalize on this opportunity as much as possible by drastically increasing the visibility of the Google brand in a way that also helps with our country’s financial deficit.”

Google has offered to pay the government large sums of money in exchange for renaming prominent American landmarks.  The Golden Gate Bridge would be renamed the Google Gate Bridge, and repainted accordingly.  Mount Rushmore would be called Mount Google-more.  The Google standard search box would be chiseled into the mountain below the faces the former presidents, and interactive education stations would be provided by the search engine giant.

New York’s Art Deco historic landmark the Chrysler building would be renamed the Googler Building, with the added bonus that people would finally stop confusing it with the Empire State Building.  Washington DC has already offered up the Jefferson Memorial for a song, since no one visits that anyway.

Washington is strongly considering Google’s offer.  With several states on the verge of bankruptcy and a new health care plan to fun the government is in strong need of income.  Timothy Geithner has even offered to name his child after google, if they would only help pay the bills.  “Otherwise China may buy up everything.”