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Monthly Archives: August 2008

Global Cooling on Pluto?

Late last week, NASA received a desperate — and surprise — SOS from the planet Pluto. “They wanted us to send heat lamps immediately,” explained Communications Officer Sunny Cavalier. “They need them to combat global cooling.

The Security Of Common Sense

I’m madder than a porcupine stuck in a thorn bush over the fact that, these days, you can’t get on a plane without a driver’s license or passport.

Couple Attacked by Goldfish!

Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David’s amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.

Fly-Eyed Baby!

A local hospital recently revealed that Allan Collinson, son of Ted and Dede Collinson, was born with fragmented, refracted eyes. “At first I thought they were just really, really bright,” said his proud but confused mother.