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JOHN MAYER AT MICHAEL JACKSON’S MEMORIAL


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LOS ANGELES, CA – John Mayer performed at Michael Jackson’s memorial last night.  Sources confirm that Mayer was never invited and instead snuck in.

Crowds were surprised at the Staples Center last night in Los Angeles when John Mayer took to the stage.  Up to that point the performers at Michael Jackson’s tribute memorial had been people close with the star.

Sources confirm that John Mayer snuck into the Staples Center to perform last night.  Security camera footage shows the 31-year-old crooner climbing fences and sneaking past guards to get in the building.  At one point he put a lone security guard in a sleeper hold, then stuffed him in a locker before moving closer to the stage.  Once in the backstage area, no one questioned Mayer’s presence.

Backstage Mayer attempted to fit in with the properly billed artists.  He tried to make small talk with Diana Ross, and other legends of Motown but was consistently shot down.  Quincy Jones tried to make the boy feel welcome before quickly losing his patience with him.  In the end Mayer spent most of his time standing in a corner with Corey Feldman, whose Michael Jackson outfit made many wonder if he had started doing drugs again.

At what was supposed to be an intermission John Mayer took to the stage. The audience wondered why the house lights had come up for his performance, and why he was not on the program.  Mayer’s performance was highly out of place between the various musical legends and tribute acts.  Both Bubbles the Chimp and LaToya Jackson had to be kept from flinging poo at the stage.  At the end of his song Mayer received polite applause from the bewildered crowd before he ran off stage and into the night.

No official criminal charges will be filed against John Mayer for trespassing at the Staples Center.  However Macauley Culkin has sworn a vendetta against John Mayer and is believed to be seeking vigilante justice.