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JON AND KATE PLUS 8 ANNOUNCEMENT


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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Jon and Kate Gosselin made a major, although highly expected, announcement on their show Monday: Kate Gosselin is an insect.

On Monday night’s show Jon and Kate, speaking separately to the camera, made a major announcement that came as a surprise to no one.  While talking about their upcoming divorce Kate finally took off her human mask revealing the head of a giant praying mantis.

This announcement only confirmed suspicions that many had regarding the couple.    Kate’s incessant derision and domineering attitude towards her husband was finally explained, as was her ability to bear six children at one time.  For years Kate has fascinated viewers with her unending criticisms and psychological domination of her husband Jon.  Entomologists confirm that behavior exhibited by Kate is common in the insect world, where an alpha female will dominate the colony and submissive males are kept alive to mate with the queen.

Filmed separately on their couch Jon and Kate spoke about the practicalities of raising their children, maintaining the show, and Kate being a giant insect.  Jon said to the cameras “It’s a sad thing but it needed to happen.  We’re both trying to focus on the kids needs and providing them with stability.”  A newly unmasked Kate spoke about the practicalities of being without a man-drone. “This decision does not please me, yet it must be done.  For Jon has disappointed me for the final time!  Not that I mean to be petty, but his performance has been unsatisfying of late.  The children shall live in this house with me.  Jon will be allowed to come here and see them when I require personal time.  There is no other alternative!  I have spoken!”

Jon and Kate plus 8 is scheduled to film another season.