SARASOTA, FL – Jon and Kate Gosselin spent their 10th wedding anniversary apart last week. While Kate played with the children at their Pennsylvania home, Jon was at a bar in Florida, with Manigator.
Jon and Kate Gosselin, made famous by their reality show “Jon and Kate Plus 8”, have had their marital troubles
Directors on the show have grown accustomed to Jon running away and hiding from his wife. Production regularly stops while PAs find Jon, pull him out of his space, and force him to interact with his wife.
It came as no surprise during filming on Friday when Jon went missing. After searching the entire house, filming on the episode continued. Kate seemed mostly annoyed that her anniversary Mani-Pedi and tanning session would have to be pushed back.
Weekly World News investigators found Jon Gosselin belly up to a bar in Sarasota, Florida with half-man half-alligator mutant Manigator.
According to eye witnesses Jon strolled into the bar around 6pm looking dejected. Jon kept mumbling about being rejected, although whether he was talking about his marriage or someone connected to the nearby circus is unknown. Around 7pm Manigator stumbled up to the bar and recognized the television personality.
Manigator, who is currently wanted in several states and legally barred from entering Canada, struck up a conversation with the oft put down TV personality. Jon went on a rant about being constantly rejected and the mutant took notice. Soon the two were exchanging stories of rejection and drinking arm in arm. For the next few hours the two alternated between crying in their drinks and offering passing women tickets “To the Gun Show!” Just before midnight Jon put money in the jukebox and the two sang along to “I Got You, Babe.”
At the end of the night Jon settled their tab and the two stumbled off into the street. What happened next is unknown, but the two are believed to be involved with dozens of lawn gnomes that were stolen in the area and later found on a beach spelling out “minus 9!”