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JON VOIGHT SPEECH


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In a speech at a Republican fundraising event, Jon Voight decried Barack Obama as a false prophet.  He then declared himself the new savior of America.

At Monday night’s fundraising dinner for the Republican Party, Jon Voight was the special guest speaker.  In his address he decried Barack Obama as a false prophet who was gleefully leading the country towards Marxism.  He then anointed himself the true savior, who would lead America towards righteous free-market capitalism.

Voight defended his false prophet claims, saying, “Everything Obama has recommended has turned out to be disastrous,” referring to Obama’s stance on the economy, Iraq, and support of Adam Lambert on American Idol.  He then challenged the President to a duel on top of Mount Rushmore “where God will see fit to grant victory to his true chosen one.”  Whether the opponents will duel with pistols or by turning their staffs into snakes is still unclear, but will be televised if Obama accepts.

Nearly 5,000 people were fed at the Republican fundraiser, dining on smoked salmon and olive focaccia.  Those seated closest noticed during his speech that somehow his glass of water had changed to top shelf vodka.  After his speech, Voight took turns laying hands on attendees, calling on the ghost of Reagan to watch over them and blessing them with “Lax gun laws,” “Rush-like Wit,” and “a convenient absence of the Gay.”

Voight is already embroiled in legal trouble with the IRS regarding donations to his new church.