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I’M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE


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SAN JOSE – Monday night saw the season premiere of “I’m a Celebrity… Get me Out of Here!”  Taking a chance, producers cast America’s Favorite Mutant, Bat Boy! Unfortunately NBC has edited him out of the premiere entirely, citing that his excessive mischief delayed production too much.

On “I’m a Celebrity…”, “celebrities” are flown to distant locations and compete to stay on the show.  The final celebrity left wins a generous donation to the charity of their choice and a brief extension to their 15 minutes of fame.  Among the hopeful and the desperate are Sanjaya Malakar, Janice Dickinson, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, and Rod Blagojevich’s wife Patricia.  During the filming Bat Boy caused a great deal of stress among the usually pampered would-be celebrities.

Set in the jungle of Costa Rica, Bat Boy was the only contestant who seemed comfortable in the environment.  Shooting of the first scene was delayed when Sanjaya declared a “Hair Emergency”, and spent two hours with his makeup team letting his hair adjust to the humidity.

Spencer Pratt fainted from shock the first time he saw Bat Boy, and hit his head on a rock.  Pratt, known for starring on The Hills and his creepy flesh colored beard, is hoping to establish himself as a respected artist within the Hip Hop community.  His wife, Heidi Montag, missed the entire incident as she was tweeting on her blackberry.

At the first competition Bat Boy made several enemies by easily completing an obstacle course before anyone else, then went back to cheer everyone else on.  Since Bat Boy cannot speak, all the celebrities saw was a young mutant excitedly screeching and waving his arms at them, which they mistook for intimidation.

Janice Dickinson suffered a severe trauma when in the tropical sun several of her facial augmentations began to melt.  Seeing this, the preadolescent Bat Boy screamed and ran terrified into the woods.  After five hours production assistants could not find him and filming had to go on. Upon knowing a half bat mutant found her face terrifying Dickinson began to drink more heavily than usual.

Since he went missing early on in the season NBC decided to edit footage of Bat Boy out of the show entirely.  Reports have come in of Bat Boy being sighted outside of major tourist destinations in the area, enjoying the weather and catching mosquitoes.