LOS ANGELES, CA – During a tumultuous weekend, starlet Lindsay Lohan let loose a torrent of anger on her Twitter account. What caused this outburst? Ronson has gone astray!
Last week, the LA police department issued an arrest warrant for Lohan, stemming from a 2007 arrest for a DUI and hit-and-run. She also got into a vicious fight with her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, Saturday afternoon, while a crowd of paparazzi and cops sat outside.
Very early that morning, a “tweet” on Lohan’s Twitter account, stated the following confusing message:
should you end it if the one person in the world fails to love, hold/comfort, apologize, and CHERISH you the night before jail? LIARS R COWARDS cuz they don’t know what they got til it is far gone. and people-if you fucking love someone. PUT UR PRIDE A-f***ing-SIDE AND JUST LOVE THEM BACK! do not ever dj before calling if they ARE F***ING ABOUT TO GET ARRESTED FOR CHASING YOU TO MAKE YOU STAY
What triggered this breakdown? Weekly World News sources have now confirmed that Ronson was spotted at her DJ gig that same evening, getting frisky with Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat!
A close friend said, “Word got back to Lindsay pretty quickly about Sam’s new ‘acquaintance’. She went ballistic! She spends so much time dieting and watching her weight, and then Sam turns around and starts eyeing up big girls?”
Tonya is well-known for being addicted to the spotlight. She has romanced Ricky Gervais and Daniel Craig, appeared on “Deal or No Deal” and “Jon and Kate Plus 8”, and even leant support to big girls Oprah and Jessica Simpson. But stealing another woman’s woman? “This is an all new low for Tonya,” said the source.
Ronson had reportedly promised Tonya that she would DJ the Meow Mix Benefit for Feline Obesity, but it’s doubtful Lohan will let her off the short leash any time soon.
WWN Shop
March 16th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
that's way too long for a tweet
March 17th, 2009 at 2:56 am
Too bad a tweet can only be 140 words. WWN FAIL.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
And they called it kitty luh-huh-huv….oh they called kitty luh-huh-huv….yes it's only kitty love….what WOULDN'T you do if you had a big plushy pussy like that? Fuzzy rub rub….nice kitty, NICE kitty…kiss, kiss, bang, bang…I think she should go for it.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Who cares?
March 18th, 2009 at 12:45 am
same thing I was thinking
March 18th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
this can be just one tweet. They dont even let you put that many letters. RAndom question, lol
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:31 am
is der really a bat boy
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
140 CHARACTERS
April 5th, 2009 at 7:08 am
I like how the 140 character limit is the evidence proving this is false. As if the rest of this was entirely plausible w/o said fact.