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SHAQ DANCE DISSECTED


shaqdance

PHOENIX, AZ – Weekly World News is proud to present dance expert Jane Alston’s explanation of Shaquille O’Neal’s interpretive dance.

At Sunday’s NBA All-Star game, officials kept with tradition by announcing each player with over-the-top fanfare. But Shaquille O’Neal took the cake, when he entered the court in a white mask, surrounded by a large dance crew called the Jabbawockeez. Accompanied by a magical keyboard song, Shaq proceeded to lay bare his heart for the world to see.

Modern dance expert Jane Alston has agreed to break down Shaq’s dance and explain what he was trying to convey:

  • 0:14 – The accompanying dancers repeatedly turn toward and away from him, vacillating between curiosity and fear at his size
  • 0:18 – Shaquille flexes his muscles and extends his limbs to full-length, exploring the seemingly limitless capabilities of his body
  • 0:24 – Shaquille lashes out at the masses, expressing his rage at his isolation and their rejection of his physical differences
  • 0:35 – The masses attempt to constrain and isolate Shaq, so that he may never fully realize his gift
  • 0:44 – Shaquille finally rips away the pants of mediocrity to reveal his true destiny: become the world’s greatest ball player
  • 1:02 – Shaquille has evolved and let go of his anger, instead filling the masses hearts’ with admiration and acceptance; as the dance concludes, the world is now at peace