BALTIMORE, MD – Olympic champion Michael Phelps was photographed smoking marijuana from a bong, and he’s blaming the Hungarians!
Phelps is an American legend, having won a record-breaking eight gold medals at the 2008 Olympic games. The press have started tracking him relentlessly, keeping tabs on his new hard-partying behavior.
The British paper News of the World published the photo of Phelps, reportedly taken at a college party at the University of South Carolina in November. He has since issued an explanation:
“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. However, I cannot take the blame for this. As many fans know, I beat Hungarian swimmer Laszlo Cseh in three separate races last summer, and I believe he has been out to get me ever since. I blame Laszlo and the Hungarian government for setting me up!”
According to Phelps’ story, he was visiting a friend on campus when an athletic exotic-sounding female invited him to a party. “I decided to attend, but was adamant about staying sober to be the designated driver. Little did I know this ‘woman’ would be spiking my ginger ale!”
She later showed him an apparatus that would supposedly improve his breath control. “Gosh golly, I had no idea what it was, so I gave it a huff!” Phelps then heard a camera shutter and the ‘woman’ took off. Laszlo Cseh was later spotted in a parked car eating goulash while two men in suits and sunglasses examined a camera.
Hungarian ambassador Dr. Ferenc Somogyi has labeled Phelps’ claims “preposterous”, and added, “We refuse to respond to such outlandish stories.”