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JESSICA SIMPSON’S WEIGHT GAIN SUPPORT


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PEMBROKE PINES, FL – Following a charity concert that served a buffet of criticism over her appearance, Jessica Simpson has turned to an old friend for support – Tonya!

The country-pop starlet has made her name on being a more wholesome alternative to her skin-flashing peers, but that has not stopped Simpson from playing up her looks and features.  The media and audience members alike took notice during the charity event that there seemed to be more of Simpson, and more undercover than usual.

“Now, I’m not one to make fun of people, or kick them when they’re down,” gossip columnist Perez Hilton said in a blog post.  “So all I’m going to say, all I’m going to point out, is that she had to wear two belts at that show.  Two Belts.  Two.”

Simpson reportedly took the blog post and media attention very hard.  She had her mother place a call to Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat, an old friend of the Simpsons.

“Tonya could not be more pleased that Jessica looked to her for advice,” Tonya’s spokeswoman said in a statement to reporters in Florida.  “There is no one that has gotten more publicity, both good and bad, about her weight and size than Tonya.  She is the perfect person to help Jessica through this private time.”

Tonya spent several hours with Jessica and her mother watching a screener of “Nights in Rodanthe” and eating low-fat diet Healthy Choice Rocky Road ice cream.

“It was a relaxing and fun night,” Tonya said through her spokeswoman.  “I told Jessica that she is as beautiful as ever, no matter what people might be saying about her.  She should never be ashamed of her looks or body and she should never let people make her feel bad about herself.”

“I told her ‘Big is Beautiful!’  ‘Fat is All That!’ and The Bigger the Better!’  We toasted with an Root Beer float.”