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MATT DILLON BLAMES CRYPTID


BURLINGTON, VT – Over the holidays, Matt Dillon was arrested for driving 106mph in rural Vermont.  His reason for doing so: “Manigator made me do it.”

According to police reports Matt Dillon claims that he met Manigator in a dive in New York City and the two hit it off.  After several hours, Dillon agreed to give the half-man half-alligator a ride.

Shortly after beginning their trip, Manigator began taunting Dillon for the way he drove, encouraging to him to go faster and faster.

“Partly I wanted to shut him up, but mostly I just wanted to get to Maine faster so I could drop him off and be rid of him.”

As soon as the police arrived, according to Dillon, Manigator began to panic and leapt out the window before the car had even come to a complete stop.  Police did not see the cryptid, only the dozens of cheep beer cans he left scattered in the floorboard.  Dillon said “Come on, I don’t drink that crap!  I’m Matt Dillon!”

He then began to shout about a half-man half-alligator with a drinking problem, so police brought him in for questioning and several drug tests.

Dillon is currently being charged with excessive speeding and authorities are on the lookout for Manigator.  No one is sure why he may be going to Maine, but all nursing homes in the state have been placed on high alert.