TACONY, PA – At a recent campaign stop in northeast Philadelphia, Governor Sarah Palin used her spiritual powers to heal a young child. Four-month-old Nathaniel Dockman, the son of Tracy and Joe, had a fever for nearly a week before being taken to a McCain rally for treatment.
The cause of the fever is unknown, though experts suspect either witchcraft or the flu. Nathaniel’s parents said they did not consult a doctor, as they are Christian Scientists and do not believe in medical treatment.
Tracy told reporters, “It’s just a miracle. Nathaniel will survive because of this amazing woman. We considered taking Nathaniel to Michael Cera, but we had no way of finding him.”
While Michael Cera’s powers are born out of his self-deprecating humor, Palin’s healing ability seems to draw strength from her small-town values and ‘you betcha’ mentality.
Joe just smiled and explained, “We don’t know where she gets it from. All we know is that Sarah was the right choice for our child, and will be the right choice for our country.”