MARTINSVILLE, IL. – Bigfoot must be placed on Endangered Species List, and activists lay blame on Sarah Palin!
Wildlife photographer Brett Sullivan is attempting to protect the elusive beast from hardhearted humans – by persuading Congress to declare Bigfoot an endangered species.
“There are a lot of nuts out there who would shoot Bigfoot in a minute, just to show they could,” said the 66-year-old Martinsville nature lover and newspaperman. “And Governor Palin has only encouraged them!”
This is in reference to the now infamous aerial shooting of a Bigfoot by Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin. The GOP celebrated it as just another example of her gumption, but both wildlife and mutant activists felt it was an irresponsible act.
Sullivan explained, “We now need to convince not only the government but all American citizens to give these creatures the same kind of protection we give other species on the verge of extinction.
“When Governor Palin is taking down Bigfoots left and right, wearing a designer baby bjorn and posing with the bodies for photo ops, it completely glorifies the horrific event. In my opinion, she is the leader in their ultimate demise and must be stopped!”
Officials in several Northwestern states have already enacted laws making it illegal to harm these gentle giants. But Sullivan says adopting legislation state by state is too slow, so he’s asking Congress to place Bigfoot on the nation’s Endangered Species List, alongside the spotted owl, the Florida panther and the Coho salmon.
“When you look into the eyes of one of these creatures and see how bright they are, and then look into Sarah Palin’s eyes, well… Frankly, there’s no competition,” he said. “I think I know which creature is more important for the future of this country, and it does not wear rimless glasses.”