Due to publicity from her recent Super Bowl ad, details have come to light of Betty White’s checkered past. Most notable among this is photographic evidence of Betty White having sex with all three Jonas brothers, at the same time.
Anonymous sources leaked photos of the affair to the news media early Monday morning. Presumably the pictures were taken after White won her lifetime achievement award from the Screen Actors Guild. The Jonas Brothers have yet to officially respond to the allegations which could ruin their contract with Disney.
As for Betty White, she has a well recorded and storied past. This wasn’t even her first time being filmed with a famous movie trio. Her long standing affair with the Marx Brothers has been well documented. Rumors have long circulated about Betty White congratulating Ben Affleck and Matt Damon after they won their Academy Award for Good Will Hunting. She is also rumored to be responsible for Antonio Banderas’ split with his first wife Ana Leza. Jack Nicholson has refused to comment on whether White had anything to do with a slipped disk he suffered in Greece five years ago.
Photos of White with the Jonas Brothers are currently the talk of Hollywood. Fans of the Brothers, pre-adolescent girls and their mothers, are in shock over their indecent behavior or confused because they’re too young to understand what people are talking about. Fans of Betty White are sending their congratulations. Upset over the scandal, management has forced the Jonas Brothers to admit their real ages to prove they were all legal adults at the time. The Jonas Brothers are actually in their mid-thirties. Betty White is likely to be crowned AARP’s Woman of the Year.