LOS ANGELES, CA – Kanye West held a press conference this week, vowing to make a musical comeback. Unfortunately he interrupted himself several times throughout the meeting.
West announced at the LA Hilton that he will soon be heading back into the music studio to prepare for his musical comeback. This was Kanye’s first public appearance in months, as he has been keeping a low profile after his incident with at the MTV VMAs. Now the self proclaimed “voice of a generation” promises to “bring the best I have to offer.”
Kanye said of his career “it’s funny how so many rappers get worse as their careers stretch out, but true poets get better.” He then shifted dramatically in his chair and said “Hold on Kanye, I’m gonna let you finish.” One of his assistants brought out a full length mirror and placed it next to the singer.
Kanye used the mirror to talk to himself, saying, “I hope to follow in the footsteps of great poets like Maya Angelou. While technically I have never read any Maya Angelou, the strength of poetry will be the same.” Real Kanye chimed back in saying “I have to say that I am very right here. My next album will be like Maya Angelou, but with a beat that you want to dance to.”
Kanye West pulled out a smaller mirror and placed it on the table, saying, “One second, I gonna let you finish. But my next album is more like Nina Simone, who spoke poetry and truth in her songs. She fought for civil rights with her songs, and in a similar vein I’m gonna tell the world how it really is with my music.” Looking into the floor length mirror Kanye said “Hold on, I gotta say something here. Nina Simone is amazing and all, but this next album will be like Nina Simone and Maya Angelou doing a duet.”
Real Kanye spoke up, saying, “Yeah yeah, I’m gonna get back to both of you. Both of those artists got better as they went on, and their work stands the test of time. That’s what I’m going to do, my music will always stand up.”
Pulling out a handheld mirror, Kanye looked into it, saying, “These artists documented what was happening in our culture. That’s what I’m gonna do. So when the powers that be try to rewrite history you can always look at our works and find truth.”
Reporters left the meeting two hours later while Kanye was in an argument with himself over which basketball player more closely resembled his career.