NEW YORK, NY – This weekend’s season premiere of Saturday Night Live will be hosted by Megan Fox. Weekly World News investigators have acquired an early draft of the digital short with hipster icon Andy Samberg.
Scripts for the shot describe Megan Fox dressed as a nun walking through the streets of New York, set to the song Sadness by Enigma.
In a slow motion shot, Fox recreates her famous scene from Jennifer’s Body by climbing naked on to a dock out of the East River. Disavowing the power of her sexiness, she puts on a nun’s habit as the music swells. Fox begins blessing the unfortunate while walking through the streets of New York City. She takes pity on homeless men, poor women and socially awkward teens, her blessings magically transforming them into religious backup dancers. They have a dance number in Times Square, but it is cut short when Godzilla comes out of the Hudson.
Realizing she is the city’s only hope, Megan Fox the Nun throws off her habit and reaches out to her holy backup dancers, and together they form Fox-atron. Fox-atron is a Metropolis-inspired giant Megan robot. In this costume Fox does battle with Godzilla on a miniature set of New York City. After defeating the monster and pinning him to the ground, Fox-atron makes out with Godzilla, while Sadness cues back up and they fade to black.
Since this was an early draft of the piece it is likely that the footage shown tomorrow will be somewhat different.
Rumors suggest that Andy Samberg was mauled to death by primates years ago and brought back to life by dark magics. Mr. Samberg has never denied this, or offered evidence it is not true.