BURBANK, CA – Disney bought Marvel in a $4 billion deal. Well-loved comic book characters are expressing their outrage.
Many consider the move to be a threat to the integrity of some of the most beloved characters in comics. When news broke yesterday that Marvel will be bought by Disney, fanboys took to the streets in protest.
Fifteen overweight men dressed as Wolverine caused a scene at a Disney Store in California. The men entered the store together and began throwing around merchandise, causing mild property damage, and shouting, “Disney can’t Tame Me!” Most of the men dressed as the movie version of the character but four wore full body spandex costumes. When mall police arrived they took off running, but soon they all ran out of breath and were apprehended.
A group of fans dressed as The Avengers and sought to protest inside DisneyLand. However, none of the other guests that day spoke English. Before leaving they did get a group picture riding Splash Mountain, which is currently circulating the internet.
Dozens of comic book store owners and members of the industry protested outside Disney’s corporate headquarters in Burbank. Each of the protesters dressed as a popular comic character both to show their support, and protect their identities. “We are protecting ourselves and our families from retaliation from this corporate giant,” said a man dressed as Spider Man. “But it must be done. This is the right thing to do.” Captain America led the group in a series of chants outside the gates of the office complex. “Bang Pow Bang Pow, Disney you can’t stop us now!” “Comic Geeks Assemble!” and “A Fandom, United, Can not be torn apart!”
Another man dressed as Thor said, “We’re all concerned that Disney’s may tone down some of the existing characters to be more in keeping with their corporate image. And the Son of Odin will not by silenced by such knaves!” A content editor who wished to remain anonymous by dressing as The Hulk ripped apart a picture of Mickey Mouse, screaming, “Bad Mouse stifles creative content!”
After a few hours the protesters were taken away by Disney’s secret police. Families of the protesters still know nothing of the location or well being of their loved ones.