PHILDADELPHIA, PA, – Jon Gosselin wants to go his own way and host an informercial for mid-life crises.
Some critics have been wondering if Jon Gosseliln is trying to get himself fired from TLC’s Jon and Kate Plus 8, and they were right. Gosselin has admitted that he hopes to be let go from the series that shot him to national fame so he can “go his own way” by hosting an infomercial for those in a mid life crisis.
Jon Gosselin will host an infomercial advertising a weekend retreat for men called “How to Live Your Life Your Way.” His target audience will be middle aged men, or men coming out of relationships with controlling women. His seminar weekend will include paintballilng, jet skis, beer pong, a “stripper club pub crawl,” and nachos. This weekend long man-child wonderland will also include informative lectures on a wide range of topics.
Lectures at the seminar will include “Dating Discreetly“, how to not get caught by paparazzi or anyone else who may be looking. “Staying Men Together” is a rehabilitation course for men who have been in relationships with highly controlling women. “For the beginners,” says Gosselin “new to reclaiming their guy-hood, we have ‘Dude-bro 101.‘ This is a basics course that covers the club scene, pick-up and dumping lines, hair gel techniques, and feigning sincerity. Everything a guy needs to get started.”
Another lecture will be an introduction to hair replacement technology. Las Vegas Hair Replacement expert Martin Idammo says, “Already Mr. Gosselin has been very for good business. We look forward to many more referrals.” Ed Hardy has already signed on to sponsor the events.
Mr. Gosselin will continue to attempt to get himself fired from the popular TLC program. Editors are already furious with Jon, for replying to everything Kate says with either “Moooo!” or “Whatever. FACE!”