LOS ANGELES, CA – Chris Brown released a video on YouTube apologizing for an incident last February with Rihanna. Weekly World News has obtained the extended first draft of the film wherein he apologized for several other things as well.
In an extended version of his apology video Chris Brown apologized for punching a nun. “My mother and spiritual teachers have taught me better than that. I am sorry.”
“I have tried to live my life in a way that can make those around me proud of me. Until recently when I keyed a police car in Detroit, I think I was doing a pretty good job.”
Chris Brown then held up an enlarged photo of a toddler. “I don’t know how this child is, but last week I stole his ice cream. If any of know or are related to this child, I am truly truly sorry. I am currently working with my preacher to make sure this never happens again.”
“I wish I could live those moments again,” Brown continued “but I can’t. I cannot go into what happened in Texas last April, or where I left the ice cream truck, but to that family of six and all my fans that I’ve let down, I am truly sorry.”
“I recognize that I have been truly blessed by God. He has given me abilities that grant me fame and fortune. To use those blessings to advertise underground cock-fights is unacceptable. 100%.”
Brown is currently making legal history by getting off for punching his girlfriend repeatedly in the face on the “Oops, My Bad.” defense.