MIAMI – A man set the world record for eating meat (in pounds) at Miami’s premier BBQ restaurant.

In what started as a normal family dining experience at a popular Miami BBQ restaurant, ingestion experts are now calling it “impossible,” “improbable,” “freak of nature” and, of course “repulsive.”

A Brooklyn man visiting Miami over the long weekend has eaten his weight in barbecue meats over a period of 7.5 hours at Sparky’s Roadside Barbecue in downtown Miami.  Sparky’s proprietor, Kevin Kehoe, remarked, “Blew my mind!  This guy comes in with his family and orders a half rack of ribs and a pulled pork sandwich, like any normal dude, but he just wouldn’t stop.  The guy was inhaling everything.  We almost ran out of meat.”

Starting at about 5:15 p.m., the restaurant staff confirmed, the man started his dinner and upon finishing his first entrees, asked for the menu and proceeded to order everything else – multiple times.  Pulled pork and smoked chicken thighs were the favorites in his eating binge that proceeded well past the restaurant’s closing hours.  Recognizing something special was happening – Sparky’s remained open and actually fired up its specialty Friedrich smoker to prepare more food.  Several items came off the smoker in time to keep his eating fest going.

The man’s family – who has requested anonymity as they go through counseling – both emotional and financial – was at first passive at the picnic table seating in the restaurant.  But as the eating procession continued, they became more and more excited and even began to cheer.   “Go baby backs; go smoked duck; go pulled pork; go catfish; go jerk chicken, go Mahi Mahi, go chopped chicken…”  It’s still not clear if the man had planned to compete in this weekend’s Miami marathon… but he certainly was well fueled to make the distance.

But in all the rejoicing, there were some sad faces amongst the Sparky’s side dishes… as the man, in his quest for meat, refused to eat the mac & cheese, collard greens, baked beans, cole slaw, corn or even mashed potatoes.  Only the banana pudding got the nod, as the final course on the eating spree – which concluded 168 pounds (and two bathroom breaks) later.

“We need a bigger smoker,” Mr. Kehoe  said to his manager, Lisa.

Go down to Sparkys, see if you can eat your weight in BBQ!

Budd Hopkins, the father of the alien-abduction movement, died on Aug. 21 at his home in Manhattan. He was 80.

A painter and sculptor, Mr. Hopkins was part of the circle of New York artists that in the 1950s and ’60s included Mark Rothko, Robert Motherwell and Franz Kline.

His work — which by the late ’60s included Mondrian-like paintings of huge geometric forms anointed with flat planes of color — is in the collections of the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Museum of Modern Art in New York, the Corcoran Gallery of Art in Washington and the British Museum, among others.

Mr. Hopkins had a fascination with otherworldly visitors, and was a well known as a U.F.O. investigator.  And he has long been considered The Father of the Alien Abduction movement.

Hopkins at first said ahe had never been abducted himself. But after what he described as his own U.F.O. sighting, on Cape Cod in 1964, he began gathering the stories of people who said they had not only seen spaceships but had also been spirited away in them on involuntary and unpleasant journeys. And then, in 1966, he was abducted.

As the first person to collect and publish such stories in quantity, Mr. Hopkins is widely credited with having begun the alien-abduction movement, a subgenre of U.F.O. studies. Later high-profile writers on the subject, includingWhitle Streiber and the Harvard psychiatrist John Mack, credited him with having ignited their interest in the field.

What he found, in story after story, was this:

The aliens were technically sophisticated and many spoke improbably good English. They were short, bug-eyed, thin-lipped and gray-skinned, stripped their subjects naked and probed them with instruments, often removing sperm or eggs.

These narratives, Mr. Hopkins wrote, led him to a distasteful but inescapable conclusion: The aliens — or “visitors,” as he preferred to call them — were practicing a form of extraterrestrial eugenics, aiming to shore up their declining race by crossbreeding with Homo sapiens.

In 1989 Mr. Hopkins founded the Intruders Foundation, based in Manhattan, to help sound the alarm.

He wrote four books on the subject, including “Intruders: The Incredible Visitations at Copley Woods” (1987), which spent four weeks on the New York Times best-seller list and was the basis of a 1992 TV movie starring Richard Crenna.

After the Cape Cod sighting he described — a silvery disc over Truro, Mass. — Mr. Hopkins began researching U.F.O.’s. In 1976 he published an article about abductions in The Village Voice, which led to an article in Cosmopolitan.

The exposure drew sacks of letters from readers wondering if they too had been abducted, and his second career was born. By the 1980s, it had eclipsed the first.

His memoir, “Art, Life and UFOs“” was published in 2009 by Anomalist Books.

So, Budd Hopkins has died.  BUT… many believe that aliens finally abducted him.

WWN Financial News – Groupon Deal of the Day – 50% off IPO shares!

In a rare demonstration of corporate “eating your own cooking,” Groupon, Inc. today unveiled a coupon entitling investors to participate in its highly anticipated IPO at a 50% discount to the IPO price.  Groupon filed with the SEC for a $750 million offering on June 2nd, but it is widely anticipated that Groupon will raise $1 billion or more in the offering and value the company at $20 billion.  Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse have been tapped to co-manage the IPO which is expected by October.

The coupon went live on Groupon’s site at 6:53 p.m. June 3rd and “tipped” within 50 minutes via 50 purchases.  The offer remains open for 8 more hours.  Coupon denominations can be determined by the purchaser, and in the case of Groupon’s Groupon, the average face value is in excess of $5 million.

The Company’s IPO underwriting group was taken aback by the surprise move, but lead banker on the transaction, Bill Strong of Morgan Stanley, commented, “It’s highly unorthodox to offer a coupon discount in a major IPO, particularly for such a high profile deal.  Because Groupon’s model requires customers to offer goods & services for 50%-90% discounts, they just got backed into a corner.”

Google, which made an unsolicited $6 billion bid for Groupon last year, was rumored to be among the first to secure one of the IPO discount coupons.  Sources who could not be identified given pre-offering SEC restrictions, said a high concentration of coupons were sold to Silicon Valley and Chinese investors.  It was also rumored that many coupons had been purchased via an IP address linked to Wal-Mart – known for its everyday discount prices.

Groupon founder, Andrew Mason, commented, “If you are not careful, new economic realities can make you obsolete in seconds.

Today’s consumer is challenged – they expect things to be free or at least half price.  Paying full retail is so 1990s.  In today’s global economy, you can sell products and services for ½ price or less – because you make up for it in volume.  What better way to prove our model than by using it in our IPO.   The servers are humming with demand and we’ve already raised nearly $400 million toward our IPO.”

WWN Financial News:  LinkedIn Users Threaten ‘LinkedOut’!

Within minutes of news of LinkedIn’s plans for an IPO, users of the professional networking site launched a grass roots movement seeking participation in the future stock offering.

In little more than 24 hours, a LinkedIn group called “Connect Us To The IPO” had gained over 73,000 members and over 300,000 users had noted that they “Like” the group.  The group’s charter is to “oppose any plans to allow a small group of VCs to enrich themselves at our expense.”

The scope and velocity of the public outcry has taken the company by surprise, and a special meeting has been set to consider the Company’s options.   On Wall Street, top investment bankers were ashen-faced as they considered the potential fallout from the movement, both for the LinkedIn IPO and for future deals.

Tim Breyers, a prominent venture capitalist at Axcel Partners, who questioned the timing of the IPO, was heard to have said, “Given the business base they have, they would be better off getting registered and conducting the IPO online themselves.  The technology exists – it’s just a matter of getting through the red tape.”

“Without us they have nothing,” blogged Kenneth North, a Racine, WI marketing consultant.   “It’s time that social media ‘walk the talk’ and socialize the profits with its users.  Exploiting the masses is so passé, and we now have the tools and power to demand our piece of the pie.”

William Sayers, a veteran of LinkedIn with 3,167 connections, added, “We have watched what happened with Facebook, Groupon and Demand Media.  They have siphoned off billions on the backs of their end users.  We won’t be left behind.”

William Sayers

Founded in 2002, LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com) has become the leading networking portal for the business community, with over 90 million registered users.  Analysts project a modest profit on revenues of $223 million in 2010.  The service offers free individual listings and networking as well as enhanced, fee-based features such as messaging, advertising, and job hunting.

95% of members surveyed said they relied on LinkedIn for business and career leads, as well as staying in touch with colleagues at prior jobs.  2% of users said they used it to ‘track down’ people they had ‘spent time with’ at trade shows or conventions and 1% of of users were looking for old girlfriends and boyfriends and 1% were monkeys.

While dwarfed by Facebook’s 500 million+ users, the attractive demographics of LinkedIn’s professional user base, make it an eagerly anticipated IPO.

Reid Hoffman, LinkedIn’s co-founder, who plans to keep his IPO proceeds in his Paypal account, was taken aback by the broad scope of user grousing on the IPO plans.  “If a tree falls in the woods – no one hears it, but we built the forest and empowered each and every tree.  I’m not letting a minority of ‘tree huggers’ get in the way of our monetizing this asset – even if a few chain saws are required.  Without us – they would have nothing – not the other way around.”

In an unrelated development, Trustees of the Art Linkletter estate have filed an injunction in Federal District Court in San Francisco, seeking an injunction on the use of the “LinkedIn” brand and logo as it impinges on the Estate’s copyrights.  No further details were available at the time we had to hit the “publish” button.

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – After years of hiding out in Everglades National Park, Skunk Ape is having a coming out party.

For the past twenty years stories have been told in South Florida about the hideous and vile smelling skunk ape who preys upon deer, fox, alligators, and sometimes even humans.

Skunk Ape has returned!

He has been described as a mix of  an ape and a skunk, Bigfoot and a dirty diaper, and Danny Devito without the farting noises. Though, without photos verifying proof or anyone sober verifying proof, for that matter, it has not been brought to the public’s attention, until today.

Skunk Ape is looking to get out of the swamp and into girl’s bikinis. He has been sighted up and down Fort Lauderdale Beach and some have claimed to even see him as far south as Miami. He has been drinking, dancing, and “getting dirty” some have claimed as they have seen him carousing the sand looking for dance partners and drinking buddies.

Kim Cloisters, from Delray Beach, came in town last weekend and noticed a huge pile of hair swaying back and forth to techno music. “At first I was a little afraid when he approached, but once you get past the smell, he is pretty similar to any other guy from Jersey that hasn’t been waxed in a while.”

In fact, the Skunk Ape seems to be the life of the party down in South Florida these days. Aside from two reports of dogs missing on the beaches, there have been no complaints about this seemingly lovable oaf. He has even gotten a few affectionate nicknames, the main two being Harry and Odie, short for odorous I expect.

Looks like Skunk Ape, from the pictures and stories swirling around Fort Lauderdale, seems to have found himself a new home.

NEW YORK – Solar cabs die during monster snowstorm!

New York’s TLC Commissioner David Yassky’s much heralded launch of solar cabs earlier this week met with an end as fiery as the sun meant to fuel the planned fleet.

The eco-friendly cab, piloted by its owner Vinay Roy, erupted into flames shortly after the morning snowy rush hour.  No one was hurt in the incident, including a Manhattan mother and her 15-year old son who were on route to a nearby private high school.

The cause of the fire is still under investigation.  Solar cab experts believe the fire was likely triggered as the vehicle’s electric engine was over burdened by the extreme weight of its solar absorption skin and the poor traction of the snow-covered road.

Mr. Roy was selected among 2,500 New York Taxi medallion owners for the honor of driving the world’s first solar cab. His four-minute music video, replete with a five person traditional Hindu band and one Bollywood-style dance routine, netted him the honor and the envy of fellow drivers at his Brooklyn garage.

The TLC’s solar cab program was launched in late March 2010 and marked a bold first phase in Yassky’s “New Deal” for NYC transport.  After 10 months of development, on 1/1/11 – a date revered for its unique binary uniformity
- the first solar was put into service.  But for a few overcast days when the solar system became depleted, “the cab has driven like an angel sent from the heavens,” commented Mr. Roy.

In response to his good fortune and the absence of any fuel costs, Mr. Roy has steadfastly refused all gratuities from his passengers, and generally takes the most direct routes to his passengers destinations.

But Mr. Roy’s 15 minutes of fame came crashing down as his beloved cab, means of livelihood and dreams for a future of clean air in his native country, went up in flames.  Adding insult to injury, his passengers refused to pay the fare as Mr. Roy was neither able to verify the fare amount nor provide a valid receipt.  While trying valiantly to access the burning console and
taxi meter to secure a receipt, a vile of cinnamon air freshener exploded violently on the dashboard.  The sound and barrage of flying brown clear plastic sent Mr. Roy’s passengers on hasty retreat down nearby side street.

They have not been identified.

Though the initial results from the solar cab trail have been disappointing, Commissioner Yassky is undaunted in his quest for a city full of solar cabs.

“I’ve learned from my career in politics, that you can’t let a minor setback hold you back from your dreams.”  To honor Mr. Yassky’s passion, the New York City Council is considering a bill to enshrine the burnt cab in a curtain of glass, right where it rests in the middle of Flatbush avenue.”

Speaker Christine Quinn, commented, what better message can we send to the world than to turn that lemon cab into a monument to lemonade?!”

Meanwhile, Mr. Roy has had to pick up the pieces of his life and seek employment as a Pedi-cab driver in midtown.   “I’d prefer to let the sun do the work, but all I’ve got now are my legs – so I will start there.”

NEW YORK – In the midst of a raging blizzard, New York held its premier art fair!

The Bloomberg administration highlighted its snow removal renaissance in the midst of the third major storm to blanket the City in weeks.  “Roads are clear, the infrastructure is running smoothly, and people are bustling about with energy and confidence,” said Mayor Bloomberg, last night.  “And I’m told that exactly the same conditions are present right now in New York City.”

Despite blizzard conditions, tens of thousands of contemporary art lovers have been flocking each day to the inaugural VIP Art Fair  www.vipartfair.com that opened Saturday morning and continues through Sunday, January 30th.  Collectors from New York and around the world have converged to view works by leading names in contemporary art including Damien Hirst, Richard Prince, Andy Warhol, Yayoi Kusma, Gerhard Richter, Banksy, Richard Serra and Matthew Barney.

Works range in price from a few thousand dollars to well into the millions for more established artists and iconic pieces.  In aggregate, the works on display have an estimated street value in excess of $226 million.”

Scott Butterman, a Brooklyn based collector of neo feminist minimalist abstract Dutch genre landscapes, gushed about the energy around the fair.  He has been eagerly awaiting the 137 exhibitors for the past three months.  “The organizing concept of the VIP Art fair was to break down the physical and societal walls of the art world and conventional art fairs – to create a much more inviting, inclusive and comfortable experience.  They have delivered that in spades.”

Only halfway through its run, multiple sales records have already been achieved, with very strong feedback from participating galleries, collectors and the media.

The Internet has also been abuzz with praise about “home-like” feeling visitors experience as they tour from booth to booth – as if the viewer were ‘lounging in their pajamas’ in the ‘privacy of their own home’ or office.  As with any paradigm-shifting enterprise, there were a few isolated, petty critiques from a few fussy art collectors.  A few blog posts reported delays in entering the fair, as well as rumors of a few VIPs who, having misplaced their ‘meds,’ threw ‘hissies’ over a slower than anticipated pace of navigating the fair as a result of the far larger than anticipated attendance.

“We built it, it snowed, and they still came – in hordes, exceeding our wildest dreams and validating the VIP Art Fair concept.  You will read about this for years to come; and we’ll be back next year to do it all over again,” commented director of infrastructure, Emile Jonasjonasenson.  “And in a social realm where your biggest nightmare is not making the list for Anselm’s latest suite of sculpture, we expect our small growing pains to draw collector ire,” he added.

But with all the laudatory feelings, some remained nonplussed:  Manual Pagales, a New York livery cab driver, said, “It’s a big bust for me – my new snow tires have not gotten even one fare to the VIP fair.  And Neil Kay, front desk manager at the Milford Plaza Hotel, stated, “We set aside 50 rooms for this fair but got a big goose egg.  For me, VIP means ‘Virtually Impossible to Perceive.’”

“Perhaps it’s because the VIP Art Fair exists only online?” posits WWN investigative reporter, Roxie Cunningham.  Inquiring minds need to know.

WASHINGTON – JFK’s eternal flame is going green!Sources close to WWW announced today that plans are underway to commemorate the 50^th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy by updating the Arlington National Cemetery tomb.

Walter Berger, formerly with the Department of Public Efficiencies, was quoted as saying that it was about time for a new look at the old memorial. “Young people today are much more aware of the environment. The ecological torch has been passed to a new generation.”

Workmen are currently taking measurements in preparation for replacing the old gas line that fueled the “eternal flame” with power to illuminate a modest Compact Fluorescent Light (CFL) at the site.

“The installation and the annual operating cost of the new light is nothing compared to the message we send to the rest of the world” Berger averred.

Official unveiling of the improvements to JFK’s resting place are scheduled for later on in November. At which time those members of the Kennedy family who are not presently incarcerated will preside over a formal ceremony.

PITTSBURGH – Rex Ryan and the NY Jets lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers, but Rex had a “very special night” with his wife.

Rex Ryan is kicking himself tonight.  He was close to bring the Jets to the Super Bowl, but the Steelers held on for the victory.

Rex was visibly annoyed on the sideline after the Steelers sealed the game with just under two minutes left.  But, when Rex got back to the hotel room. His wife, who has a foot fetish and has done a lot of “foot porn” on the internet, was ready with a very special foot massage.

Rex forgot all his troubles.  When asked about the game, Rex said, “Jets?  What jets?”

The game was slow in the first half because The Jets.  They were down 24-3 at the half and seemingly out of hope, the Jets rallied their way back to 24-19 before giving the ball to the Steelers just before the two-minute warning.

Three stops, three timeouts and the Jets would have the ball back with enough time to author a classic comeback, but they couldn’t do it.  Ben Roethlisberger found Antonio Brown on third down with the entire faith of a franchise on the line to extend a Steelers drive and win a game that might have caused more pain than any other in the long, painful history of the New York Jets.

They Jets didn’t get the job done.  The Steelers ran the clock out and one more year was added to the misery that is the existence of every Jets fan that was born after 1960. There is plenty of blame to throw around, from Brian Schottenheimer’s play calls to the brutal roughing the kicker call in the third quarter to Sanchez’s fumble that made the game 24-0 just before the half, but the fact is that the Jets were sitting with a chance to win the game on third and six with their defense on the field.

The Steelers advanced to yet another Super Bowl and we are left to try to pick up the pieces of the loss one more time.

The Jets came closer than any Jets team has ever come since Joe Namath’s guarantee, but it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough to make up for the chances squandered in a game they absolutely should have won. They came out flat, spotted the Steelers a huge lead and could never catch up.

But Rex Ryan is happy with his foot fetish wife, Michelle.  They spent most of the night rubbing each other’s feet and, well the rest we can’t print here.

The bottom line is that Rex Ryan is now focused on more important things than the Super Bowl.  He wants to change the name of the National Football League.

Read our exclusive report, by WWN’s award-winning journalist, Elsa Akesson, about Rex Ryan’s plea for the National Feetball League.

PORTLAND, Maine – Researchers have discovered a dog  that is 9,400-years-old.  Dogs were pets – and meals.

Bone fragments from e earliest confirmed domesticated dog in the Americas was found.

University of Maine graduate student Samuel Belknap III came across the fragment while analyzing a dried-out sample of human waste unearthed in southwest Texas in the 1970s. A carbon-dating test put the age of the bone at 9,400 years, and a DNA analysis confirmed it came from a dog — not a wolf, coyote or fox, Belknap said.

Because it was found deep inside a pile of human excrement and was the characteristic orange-brown color that bone turns when it has passed through the digestive tract, the fragment provides the earliest direct evidence that dogs — besides being used for company, security and hunting — were eaten by humans and may even have been bred as a food source, he said.

Belknap wasn’t researching dogs when he found the bone. Rather, he was looking into the diet and nutrition of the people who lived in the Lower Pecos region of Texas between 1,000 and 10,000 years ago.

“It just so happens this person who lived 9,400 years ago was eating dog,” Belknap said.

Researchers from the University of Maine and the University of Oklahoma’s molecular anthropology laboratories, led by Professor Todd Markowitz, have written a paper on their findings.

In the paper, it is revealed that dogs have played an important role in human culture for thousands of years.

There are archaeological records of dogs going back 31,000 years from a site in Belgium, 26,000 years in the Czech Republic and 15,000 years in Siberia, said Robert Wayne, a professor of evolutionary biology at UCLA and a dog evolution expert. But canine records in the New World aren’t as detailed or go back nearly as far.

Markowitz — who does not own a dog himself, and actually hates dots — said that the research they have done proves that dogs were companions to the humans living back then and also offered them protection.  “The humans living at that time used dogs pretty much the way we use them today – as pets.  The only difference is that when the dogs got older, they usually ate them.  We were lucky that this dog got away.”

Judging by the size of the bone fragment found, Belknap figures the dog weighed about 25 to 30 pounds. He also found what he thinks was a bone from a dog foot, but the fragment was too small to be analyzed.

Other archaeological digs have put dogs in the U.S. dating back 8,000 years or more, but this is the first time it has been scientifically proved that dogs were here that far back, he said.

Archaeologists are debating whether this is the oldest dog ever found.  “I’m not sure Belknap found the oldest,” said UCLA’s head of Arachaeology, Cynthia Bowdoin.  “And if it is, I’m sure my team will find an even older dog soon.  I’m sure of it.”
The earliest dogs in North America are believed to have come with the early settlers across the Bering land bridge from Asia to the Americas 10,000 years ago or earlier, said Wayne, who has not seen Belknap’s research.It doesn’t surprise Belknap that dogs were a source of food for humans.

A lot of people in Central America regularly ate dogs, he said. Across the Great Plains, some Indian tribes ate dogs when food was scarce or for celebrations, he said.

“It was definitely an accepted practice among many populations,” he said.