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Author Archives: Foxington Delaware
SWEARING AT GOD IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH
BALTIMORE, MD – A recently completed study has shown that profanity leveled at deities can extend your lifespan.
WHALES TAKE DOWN SOMALI PIRATES
CAIRO—The Egyptian government is calling on the gentle giants of the sea to take out pirate ships, and the whales are getting the job done.
MAN SUES HIMSELF FOR $8 MILLION
NEW YORK – Wall Street executive Robert Rubin has successfully sued himself for $8 million.
YOUR JOB SEARCH ENDS HERE!
The Board of Directors appreciates your interest in working at The Harold Bugler and welcomes your applications, but doesn’t read or reply to any of them.
SECRETS OF THE CLASSICS REVEALED
Find out what all those dead white men didn’t tell you about their masterpieces.
FATHERS AGAINST MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING
WASHINGTON, DC – Fathers all over the nation are uniting under the slogan “I drive better when I’ve had a few.”
ALEX RODRIGUEZ ADMITS STEROID USE
NEW YORK, NY – Alex Rodriguez has admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs, and all the angels in the heavens above have wept as one.
PHELPS LOSES ENDORSEMENT DEAL
BALTIMORE, MD – Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps has lost an endorsement contract with Nabisco.
FIVE MOST INFLUENTIAL DEADBEAT DADS
Take a tour through history to meet five of history’s most significant bad fathers!
KOSOVO NOW OLD ENOUGH TO DATE
GENEVA – A consensus vote at the United Nations today recognized Kosovo’s right to after-hours, unsupervised socialization rights with consenting nations.
