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Author Archives: Foxington Delaware
SEX MUFFINS
Here’s a tasty recipe that will supercharge your love life!
8 STEPS TO TURN ANY MAN INTO YOUR SLAVE
Hey ladies – You can turn any man into your boot-licking love slave with these tips from a top psychiatrist.
WHO ALERT LEVELS
The outbreak of swine flu has caused the World Health Organization to steadily raise its alert levels. But what do they mean? Weekly World News breaks it down.
SENATOR PROMISES “NO MORE VOODOO”
WASHINGTON, D. C. – Sen. Bill Waverly confused a crowd of supporters when he pledged “the phase-out of all voodoo rituals in the hallowed halls of the U.S. Senate.”
EARTH IS A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD
MILKY WAY – Residents of the upscale Alpha Centauri district are petitioning the local government to enforce harsh restrictions on travel to and from Earth.
NO LINE FOR EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER
LOS ANGELES, CA – Sources report that you can expect little waiting time for some of today’s most dramatic rides.
CHILD MODEL TO BE PAID IN MONOPOLY MONEY
LOS ANGELES—Citing concerns over the recession in the American economy and the desire to purchase Park Place, a child model asked that she be paid in Monopoly dollars.
WORLD’S WEIRDEST FORTUNE COOKIES
Take a look at some of the pearls of wisdom we found in everybody’s favorite oyster-like treat.
NEW CHEERLEADER SUSPECTED DOUBLE AGENT
CLEVELAND, OH – Teammates are becoming suspicious that recently acquired cheerleader Stephanie Peters is in fact an undercover operative from a rival high school.
PHYSICIST PROPOSES WITH NUCLEAR BOMB TEST
FIJI – Physicist Matthew Bowen reports that, following the successful detonation of nuclear payload G-417, girlfriend Julie Belcourt is now his fiancée.
