SKOKIE, IN – Weekly World News has uncovered the extraterrestrial origins of Rock Band 2.
Rock Band 2, the popular music game, was actually created by aliens looking for the most talented players in the universe to save their planet with the power of rock.
Indiana native Mark Handler recently returned to Earth from the Orion Nebula where the fate of Planet Grohl was decided in an interstellar Battle of the Bands.
Grohlians, using the controls of their own native instruments, created the game which would act as a test to find the most talented players in the galaxy. Four players were then recruited to help save their planet from the invading forces of Ryloth.
Mark Handler of Skokie was taken by the aliens shortly after getting a perfect score on the final hidden song. At roughly 4:30AM, after an all night binge, Handler finally nailed the drum solo on Hyperspeed Lateralus Medley by Tool. The song is noted for using a time signature yet to be deciphered by human mathematicians. After receiving his score, his Playstation 3 sent a signal to a waiting satellite, and within minutes Mr. Handler was picked up to save the Planet Grohl.
The Ryloth band, whose name translates to “Ironic Purveyors of Death”, played Ace of Spades by Motorhead, but lost points for using acid during a guitar solo to literally melt faces in the first three rows. The Grohlian’s band saved the planet with playing Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi.
On a key riff during Living on a Prayer, all four players went into Overdrive, sending the crowd into hysterics and thoroughly vanquishing the Ryloths, who vowed “Next time. Next Time!”
Mr. Handler was invited to live on Planet Grohl, but said he preferred living in his parents’ basement and working at the local movie theater.