Everyone now agrees: aliens are among us. WWN is asking our readers to help us determine who is, in fact, an alien. Today: John Travolta.
Weekly World News has teamed up with the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials to locate and identify aliens in our midst. By the end of this year, we will be submitting the list to the Department of Homeland Security. At that point, the aliens will be identified as either Zeebans (good aliens) or Gootans (bad aliens) and dealt with accordingly.
Please help us to identify the aliens.
CASE FOR JOHN TRAVOLTA BEING AN ALIEN:
1) He is a Scientologist
2) He is a self-taught pilot
3) He is obsessed with massages.
4) He starred in the film The Boy In The Plastic Bubble.
5) He starred in Battlestar Galactica
6) His best friend is this man:
7) He is bald.
8) He starred in Phenomenon about a man with a superhuman brain.
9) He has a reservation on Richard Branson’s Virgin Galatcic – a ship into outer space.
10) He disappeared from the public eye for ten years, then returned to star in Pulp Fiction.
CASE AGAINST JOHN TRAVOLTA BEING AN ALIEN:
1) He was baptized a Catholic.
2) He starred in Welcome Back Kotter.
3) He’s married to Kelly Preston.
4) He was an amazing dancer.
5) Oprah is one of his closest friends.
6) He starred in Look Who’s Talking.
7) He wears a hairpiece.
8) He’s a cross-dresser – rare for aliens.
9) He sang a song, Dream Drummin’.
10) Grease is the word.