NEW HAVEN, CT – Astronomers have announced that Jupiter and Venus will shine unusually brightly during a conjunction tonight.
But Weekly World News has discovered that the shine will be from residents of both planets mooning Earth.
Jupiterians and Venusians will come together, and millions of of aliens living on both planets will in unison expose their pale backsides towards us. Nations of life forms will work in shifts to coincide with the revolution of each planet.
The reasoning behind this interplanetary prank yields many questions. Why have residents of two planets coordinated such a grand effort to moon our own? And why are Earth’s governments covering it up? Weekly World News reporters will continue to investigate.