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EHARMONY REFUSES INTER-SPECIES MATCHES


PASADENA, CA – eHarmony has once again come under serious scrutiny.  Critics of the popular dating site allege that it does not allow for humans to be paired up with aliens.

After defending its practice of excluding same-sex couples, eHarmony must again stand by its methods. Founder Neil Clark Warren, PhD, psychologist and author of several books about relationships, claims that he simply has not done the same amount of research on alien matchmaking as he has with human matchmaking.

“You gotta be kidding me,” exclaimed an exasperated Warren.  “I’m not even convinced aliens exist.  How would I even know what they like in a mate?”

Prentice Fusilier, attorney from the Intergalactic Civil Liberties Union, filed a lawsuit on behalf of their reclusive client, Zanbar, claiming that eHarmony’s policy against aliens violates California’s laws prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

“Orientation?  We don’t know if these things have orientations… or genders for that matter,” persisted Warren.

Fusilier is hoping to get a decision in the case before the ultra-conservative Overlord-elect Zorock comes in to power.