SAFFORD, AZ. – A fugitive’s abduction by aliens has prompted a hasty interstellar extradition treaty, now under review by the U.S. Senate.
The abduction disrupted a high-speed police chase along Interstate 70. Police cornered the fugitive, thirty-seven year old Jonathan Lee Walden, but his stolen SUV suddenly vanished from the highway.
“I saw some kind of metal craft hovering over the truck, then there was this intense white beam, and the truck disappeared,” said one eyewitness.
Two leaked documents revealed a new law enforcement authority called ‘Interplanetpol.’ Government officials denied that any non-terrestrial extradition treaty was in the works.
A Weekly World News source reported that members of the President’s staff have extensively briefed Ambassador Richard L. Zlevin on US-extraterrestrial relations, and have reserved broadcast time on the Federal Radio Observatory’s Red Bank transmitter for treaty negotiations.
When asked at a recent debate how the situation should be dealt with, Presidential nominee Senator Barack Obama explained, “Regardless of what Mr. Walden was serving time for, he should be dealt with in a terrestrial system, and not by some invading force with no authority. The aliens should be ready for us to retrieve him, with or without their consent.”
Presidential nominee Senator John McCain rolled his eyes in response. “I’ve been a prisoner, so I would know exactly how to deal with this kind of sensitive situation. Not guns a blazin’ like that one over there,” he stated as he gestured at Obama.
Given that aliens have had a certain affinity for Senator McCain’s wife, it may be advantageous for Walden if McCain were to win the election.