WASHINGTON, DC – Shutdown crisis causes U.S. to turn to the alien, P’Lod, for guidance and financial aid.
The United States government will face a catastrophic event of historic proportions, if Congress cannot resolve the budget crisis. Current funding is scheduled to run dry on October 17th and if the infighting in Congress is not resolved, the system of government that the citizens of the United States have grown accustom to will end, permanently.
Republicans have made a number of proposals to keep the government running, but Democrats have rejected them all. The U.S. government has to get itself out of the red and avoid a permanent shutdown. There are grave concerns that members of Congress will be unable to put aside partisan principles and band together to save the United States from immanent doom.
As a safety net, some members of the Congress have called upon P’Lod, the alien who backed Barack Obama in the 2008 and 2012 elections in hopes to find a way to the bring the United States budget under control.
Current Republican planned cuts include blocking federal funding to Obamacare and baring the Pentagon from using tax dollars to sponsor NASCAR race teams. P’Lod does not have issue with reducing funding to Planned Parenthood but he will not stand for cuts to NASCAR. P’Lod really loves his NASCAR.
P’Lod has offered to take President Obama up on his offer for the White House, agreeing to pay the full asking price plus closing costs, as a sign of his commitment to aid the U.S. in these trying times.
“P’Lod has always enjoyed his visits to the White House,” said a top White House aide, “He’s really going to enjoy it here, especially the West Wing.”
Based on the great deal of influence that P’Lod had during the past two elections; many conspiracy theorists worry that this purchase is all but a tactical maneuver by P’Lod in order to help him to gain complete control of the U.S. and ultimately the world.
“There are tons of government secrets locked up in the White House, many of which the U.S. government does not even know about,” explained John McElroy, top conspiracy theorist and movie buff, “I’ve seen National Treasure and National Treasure: Book of Secrets. If we let P’Lod get a hold of that information there is no telling what powers and riches he will uncover.”
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corporation shut down.they shut down manufacturing jobs by shipping them over seas with no enviornmental or child labour laws. Trying to shut down our rites. lobiests are the ones who have shut down the government they are the government. the corpurate kingdoms will turn on themselves and being canabels will get a massive case of dyarea which will noe doubt be covered (no pun intended) in weekly world news.
P'lod NEEDS to produce a darned intergalactic birth certificate or I am suing!! How do we know he is an alien and not just Swedish?
Economical crisis is main crises for any country it impact all over the budget sector. I think reducing of all economical problems should straightly follow government rules and law and make well planned investment in industrial area. Thanks!
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Shutting down the government like this – over the two political party differences – is really terrible. However, the "people" will wake up come the next elections.
This shutdown is not really smart. I hope it will change soon again…
It had better. We need our mail.
Many people are saying that the government shutdown is due to Comet ISON coming soon, check out what the Russians are saying http://www.educatinghumanity.com/2013/09/comet-al…
Weekly World News is for those that don't mind reading an article written by a person that takes ecstacy, and LSD while being spun on a tilt a whirl ride at an amusement park!
I was thinking just the same thing!
So the liberalism/socialism mental disorder isn't just confined to Earth, it affects even aliens in distant star systems like this "P'Lod".
LMAO "P"Lod"…. I want some of whatever it is these guys at WWN are smoking.
Have a free time and a computer with internet access at home??? Need extra income??? Why not get an online job… www.Wamjobs.com
I hope this shutdown is over soon…
Obama's fault as always.
The united states post office in South Plainfield NJ should not shut down because people need their mail badly.
hahaha I love that picture of the UFO